:: Chris Turner's Journal ::

:: Saturday, October 23, 2004 ::

How to Catch a Bus

Trent Barton Buses have helpfully prepared a guide to catching a bus. You can view it at http://www.trentbuses.co.uk/usebus/index.html if you don't believe me.

"When we asked around, people told us that using the bus for the first time was actually much easier than they'd thought. But many also said that they hadn't been too sure what to expect or how to find out more.
So here's our step by step guide to using the bus, choosing the right ticket and a list of Frequently Asked Questions.

STEP 1: Find out about routes and times from this website.Our Update page will tell you if there's anything unusual going on, such as temporary diversions or forthcoming changes. You can sign up for automatic timetable updates - free.

There are also timetables at most of our bus stops - or you can call TraveLine on 0870 608 2 608 and get expert advice on all public transport services. Most of our buses carry timetables on board too.

STEP 2: There's a whole range of tickets for most journeys. The one-way price (which is usually the most often quoted) is hardly ever top value. Ask your driver for the best deal; he or she will be happy to help - or read on for more hints and tips.

STEP 3: Make your way to the bus stop and look out for your bus.The bus stop itself will tell you which routes call there. Our bright yellowS-on-black screens are clearly visible and we take pride in setting them properly so that there's no confusion. A lot of our routes carry their own unique livery so you can spot them in the crowd. Although not strictly necessary, it helps us, particularly at busy times, if you put out your hand to show the driver that you want that bus.

STEP 4: Ask the driver for your destination - and if you're not sure, please say. That will help us give you that extra little bit of advice and assistance with stops and fares. Unlike some of our rivals, we're glad to give change - but whenever you can find the right money it will make it easier for us to keep to time.

STEP 5: Sit back and relax! Your bus will be clean and comfortable and you'll see all sorts of things from the bus that you somehow never manage to see from the car. You can leave all the hassle of driving to us. No need to worry about parking either. If you do by any chance get held up, remember it would have been just the same by car - and of course unlike the car, you're free to use your phone at any time.

STEP 6: When it's time to get off, just press the bell once. You'll see the 'bus stopping' sign come on, then you can stay comfortably seated until the bus draws to a halt. By the way - most bus stops are lined up on opposite sides of the road, but in towns and cities there's often a one-way system. If you're travelling for the first time, check your timetable to see where the buses pick up on the way back - or just ask the driver.

STEP 7:Well, we hope there won't be a step 7, but if anything goes wrong with your journey, we really would like to know. Most of our routes carry a money-back guarantee, so your driver will give you your money back immediately if you mention it before you get off - or you can get in touch with our Customer Services Team."

:: Plod 11:07 [+] ::
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Alternate Names

YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (NAME OF FIRST PET + STREET YOU LIVE ON)
Toby Birch

YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (NAME OF YOUR FAVORITE SNACK FOOD + GRANDFATHERS FIRST NAME)
Burger Alfred

YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (FIRST WORD YOU SEE ON YOUR LEFT + FAVORITE RESTAURANT)
Nikon Nando

EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice + Last Foreign Vacation Spot)
Garlic Madrid

SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname + Town Where You First Partied)
CJ Dartford

"FLY GIRL" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial + First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name)C. Tu

ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight + Any Liquid in Kitchen)
Sugar Carlsberg

DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal + Where You Went to Primary School)
Puppy Upton

BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate + Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink)
Peanut Drambuie

SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name + Street Where You First Lived)
James Mount

ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy + Last Name Of Favorite Musician)
Twix Lee

:: Plod 08:08 [+] ::
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Courtesy of Handbag.com

To coin an overused cliché, masturbation is natural. It's an easy (and enjoyable) way of releasing sexual tension - without trawling the nightclubs looking for someone to ease it for you. As children, we are often taught not to touch our genital region because of the perceived threat of germs or bugs. Yet many women who enjoy masturbation today started masturbating relatively early.

Rosie recalls being nine or 10 years old and not understanding what she was doing. 'Embarrassing as it is to admit it, I actually used to rub my pelvis against my stuffed Womble' she says. 'I used to rub and rub until I climaxed… I thought it was the greatest feeling, but I hadn't had much in the way of sex education at the time and had literally no idea what I was doing.'

:: Plod 23:45 [+] ::
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