:: Chris Turner's Journal ::

:: Thursday, March 27, 2003 ::

New Poem

I also just added a poem from a book I'm currently working on, called "Ages of the Eversong". I decided to name my poetry archive after it, so you can head on over to [eversong] right now if you want to check it out. It probably won't mean much without the rest of the story, but you can get a flavour of the book from here. It's a very abstract, escapist fantasy, and there's still lots to do on it - really, it's only in its early stages - and I have a lot of other work on at the moment. Still, I hope you enjoy it.

:: Plod 19:29 [+] ::
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Which Company?

Which organisation, comprising of just over 500 members, contains these people?

29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad cheques
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

They're just some of the 535 members of the United States Congress who have taken it upon themselves to preach to us all about the rights and the wrongs of the world.

Just thought you'd like to know that.

:: Plod 15:49 [+] ::
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Urrrgh...

Of all the times I could be ill, it had to be right now. I feel really dizzy and I have a sore throat - hardly in a work mood. I'll try a bit later on to get some more of this dissertation done.

To cheer myself up, I added one of my favourite poems to [eversong] - Rudyard Kipling's "If". Hope you enjoy it.

:: Plod 15:50 [+] ::
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My Own Iraq Dossier

Being a historian, I often wonder how events will appear in the future. How will we look back on the events of today? What evidence will people have? How much of it will be lost in the myriad of "stuff" we'll have? For this, I have started compiling my own collection of photographs, articles and video clips. I've tried to collect bits and pieces from all sorts of views on the war in Iraq, though no historian would be so brazen as to claim total objectivity. Of course, a lot of what I've collected reflects my own feelings on the war.

I've been saving the written stuff as plain text files since it's the only format I can -guarantee- will be able to be read by computers in the future - 10 years time, say. I can't guarantee we'll all be using Microsoft Word by then, so it seems a sensible choice - though we probably will.

I won't upload the material here, I'm afraid, since many websites are currently being shut down by the US Government and Pro-Bush ISP's that carry the sort of things I've been able to get hold of - I've collected many images that are extremely graphic and not suitable for those who are of a nervous disposition. Many of them are images freely available from the Associated Press, but by the time they get to CNN or the BBC, they've been heavily sanitised. Take a picture of an Iraqi child, for example, being carried by her father. The western press photo shows the child bruised and bloodied, her eyes shut - clearly she's been wounded by shrapnel or something - but only the full picture shows the true extent of the horror of war. Her legs have been blown off below the knee, but not cleanly. Just two mangled appendages hang limply there instead.

I don't want my Blog to get shut down, so I won't put these images up. Nor am I collecting them for any kind of amusement or bizarre trophy-hunting. I'm collecting them so that I can say to my children in the future, when they say - "Dad, what -really- happened in the Iraq War? Do you remember it?", I'll be able to show them the full horrors of war when they're ready. The written sources will also help to show that history was not black and white.

In the 21st Century, there has to be a better way. There just has to be.

:: Plod 00:08 [+] ::
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I Made It!!!

I made it into UCL!! I'm in shock. The thought that I'll be doing an MA at the country's leading university thrills me. I'm cooking a special celebratory dinner tonight - this is the best news I've had in months! :)

:: Plod 19:02 [+] ::
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Too Much War

It's everywhere I go. Every TV channel has been given over to near non-stop coverage of the war, I go online and it's war everywhere...I step outside my house and it's anti-war protests everywhere...I just can't get away from it. Even if I turn to my work, I'm reminded of it all - my dissertation is on the Korean War. It's enough to drive anyone crazy - and frankly, I'm sick of it.

I never made it out tonight, and I should have gone - I was too busy reading and wasting time to notice that it was time to go. Bugger. It seems these Friday nights are some of the only social occasions I enjoy anymore - it's not like I'm going out anywhere else very often. It seems that exactly what I feared most is happening - that nobody's looking out for anyone and retreating into their work. At least, if they -are- looking out for each other, there's certainly no TLC coming my way. Are people trying to tell me something? I wonder.

I can put it down to work, but I don't think that's always the case. If anyone looks back over my journal, they'll find I had the same self-doubts around Christmas time - that was one of the loneliest times I ever had in my life, and by the end of the holiday I was just crying to come back to Sheffield. Right now, I don't know where I want to be. I seem to be spending most of my days alone whereever I am.

Am I antisocial? No, I don't think so - quite the opposite. I love my friends dearly, and I wouldn't swap any of them for the world. I can happily converse with people for hours on end, and I'm always interested in what people have got to say. Am I physically repulsive? Well, I don't think so. I don't have any weird habits or anything like that - I'm a perfectly normal guy. So why is it people seem to shy away? Do I come across as too confident? Do I seem strange? Do I not say the right things? All these questions I ask myself, wondering if I brought my loneliness upon myself. I suppose there's noone else to blame, really.

:: Plod 02:08 [+] ::
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War on Iraq

As predicted, war broke out in the early hours of this morning with a missile strike against figures in the Iraqi leadership. I hope the Americans don't try that too often - I don't believe their missiles are 100% accurate, and firing missiles indiscriminately will only cause civilian casualties. If we want to emerge from this war with even a shred of decency, they'll have to avoid doing things like that - but I wonder for how long the US will be able to keep their cool before reverting to their traditional gung-ho tactics.

I have a presentation this morning ("Textual Sources as Evidence in History" - great, huh?), but to be honest, I can't really concentrate. There's so much other stuff happening that's all so much more important than this, but I guess work has to go on. Perhaps I'm just not in the mood for it today.

I still haven't heard anything from UCL, which I suppose is a good thing - if I received a letter within days of posting my application, it would almost certainly be a rejection letter. I'm pinning a lot of hope on getting into that MA course - let's hope I do.

Anyway, I have to get ready. Naturally, I'll keep writing in my journal as events unfold.

:: Plod 09:05 [+] ::
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New Poem

If you take a look over at [eversong], you'll find a new poem - "The Proprietor of Carefully Selected Junk". Hope you like it. My new rhyming dictionary arrived this morning, and it's superb - maybe you'll notice it in my work, maybe you won't.

:: Plod 12:35 [+] ::
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More Counting Down

War by Wednesday night. That's my bet.

It could be Tuesday night, but I doubt it - Bush gave Saddam 48 hours to leave, so if he attacks within 24, he'll just do himself political damage.

Anyway, I'm too tired to write much about it all at the moment. I'll just finish tonight with this:

"Only the dead have seen the end of war."
- Plato

:: Plod 01:39 [+] ::
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New Photos

I was just killing some time this afternoon before my seminar, so I uploaded some new photos. Have a look at my Photo Album to the left of the page - and remember, it's a public album, so you can upload your photos too :)

:: Plod 14:24 [+] ::
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Countdown to War

It looks like we're only a few hours away from war in Iraq. I hope it's all over quickly and with the minimum loss of life - though I doubt that's what we'll see with the US forces and their reputation. They do have a tendency to reduce everything they touch to rubble, and don't seem to be satisfied until their opponents' body count reaches astronomical figures. I'd feel much happier about the conflict if Britain was responsible for the strategy, but I guess the best I can hope for now is that they have some influence over their American counterparts.

My guess is that it'll either happen around midnight tonight or tomorrow - that'll make it the early hours of the morning in Baghdad (they're 3 hours ahead of UK time), and US and British technology gives them an overwhelming advantage to fight at night. It would be the height of military stupidity to send troops in during the day - though that's exactly what the Americans did in Somalia in 1992, and got caught out.

Some analysts are saying it'll be over within 48 hours, but I think they're underestimating how a conflict works. It's not like drawing lines on paper and having everything working smoothly to plan. Most of them have never even been anywhere near the military anyway - they just sit lecturing in universities and colleges on their own particular "theories" anyway. Personally, I expect the initial conflict will last a couple of weeks (2-3), but the struggle to maintain order in Iraq will last a lot longer. I hope enough thought has gone into the political fallout that will result from Saddam Hussein's demise - refugees, local warlords - there could be an enormous power struggle in Iraq in the weeks to come.

:: Plod 13:57 [+] ::
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Tired

Well, little diary, its been a busy day. I'm really too tired to write much at the moment! (It's 1am right now). I've been busy all day, and just had a late night shower because I felt crappy. I'm anxiously awaiting my new rhyming dictionary that's due to come some time next week, along with a couple of other geeky computer books. I don't want to write any more poetry until it arrives - I'm sure it'll be a great help. All too often when I'm writing, I know what I want to say - but I get hung up on one particular word, and I know a rhyming dictionary will come in very handy. For £7, who's arguing?

More importantly, tomorrow night it's Matt's 22nd birthday bash - though not his actual birthday until Tuesday. We're off to "La Dolce Vita" on London Road to celebrate - it looks like quite a nice little Italian. It's making me hungry just thinking about it! I'm also going to go off to the library around 12 tomorrow to make sure I get some more work done. I need to draw up a final plan for my dissertation very soon so I can discuss it with my tutor this week, and hopefully begin writing it all up some time next weekend. Once this dissertation is out of the way (finally!), it's pretty much plain sailing until graduation. Just 3 exams between me and a BA in History.

:: Plod 01:04 [+] ::
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Aussie Windows

Just an amusing image I stumbled across...and now I paste it here specially for my Australian friends :)


Click here :)



Edited, because I decided the picture was too big on my front page - just click the link and you'll still find it, though, if you want to see it :)

:: Plod 12:38 [+] ::
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St00pid Day

Well, today I ended up having a big argument with Liz over really silly stuff, and we both ended up very upset. Hopefully its all resolved now.

On a brighter note, I picked up a copy of Red Dwarf II on DVD today (finally I found something to spend that bloody Christmas WH Smith's voucher on!) and series 1 should be arriving through the post on Monday. It's brilliant - and I can't recommend it highly enough to any Red Dwarf fans. There are so many extras, it's untrue! I also picked up "Black Hawk Down" for £10, because it was buy one, get one half price in Smith's. I watched it in the cinema a while back, but I enjoyed it a lot more the second time around on DVD.

Matt's supposed to be coming round tonight - maybe we'll get a pizza...hehe, I say "maybe". We haven't got anything in the freezer, and Chris has left his mobile in his room, so it's not like we really have all that much!

:: Plod 19:15 [+] ::
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I Met a Girl...

...called Rachel, and she's very nice. I met her last Friday at the Interval bar, and we chatted for ages...and we did again tonight. I was just supposed to be walking her home (after all, she only lives round the corner, and we have to walk through some pretty dodgy areas!), but ended up round her house until just before 2am chatting again. I don't fancy her or anything (nor do I think she feels likewise), but she is a really pleasant girl and lovely to talk to. I'd like to get to know her better over the coming months - she seems like someone I can trust with things.

Otherwise, tonight was much like any other night. I'm glad my new site features have been noticed already - and I'm quite impressed with the hit counter! Mallory seems to have jumped on them immediately (bless her, I love her - I really do! - she's a true fan) - especially the Guest Map, which I think is great. I hope they get more use over time! It took long time to set it all up, but I really do feel proud of my diary now - it feels much more homely, and I hope people continue to get enjoyment out of reading this. I certainly get a great deal of pleasure from writing in here, and to those who take the time to write to me and leave little comments, I extend my most heartfelt thanks and friendship. I really do love talking to people, and it gives me immense satisfaction to know that readers of this site feel enough of something to take the trouble to contact me (whether they think my poetry is good or bad).

Once again, thankyou for reading...I hope you keep coming back :)

:: Plod 02:09 [+] ::
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A Whole Load of New Features

Phew! I've just spent the last couple of hours uploading loads of new features for visitors to my website. Firstly, there's a new Photo Album, where you can view my images - and even upload your own! It's a really nice feature.

Then, there's my favourite - the Guestmap. Like a guestbook, but better - you can post a little pin into my world map so I can see where you come from, and you can leave behind little comments. Try it - it's fun!

I've also added a Mailing List, which will start being sent out (to notify you of important site updates, such as a new poem) as soon as I get some willing subscribers. Needless to say, it's not for advertising - it's just so I can keep people in touch with my work. Finally, I added the Tell a Friend feature, so that if you like my work (or reading my diary), you can easily tell your friends! Just see the links to the left.

I've also added a hit counter down there somewhere, just so I can see how many people are visiting the site. I hope you enjoy the my new toys and find they make the site a good deal more interactive and fun. I'm off to get ready for tonight - see you later!

:: Plod 19:23 [+] ::
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A Poem Before Bedtime

If you head across to [eversong] right now (my poetry and writing repositry - see the link at the top of the page), you'll find a little poem I scribbled before bedtime entitled "Sleeping Off Insomnia". Hope you like it.

:: Plod 01:18 [+] ::
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Back in the Loop

Well, finally my work routine seems to be going again. Tuesday night's cell really helped me sort out some priorities, and my dissertation is back on course. I got my exam results back today - I got 66 in my Indian module, which is the one I was dreading - and that means I got a solid 2:1! I'm very happy with it.

Now all I need to work on is my fitness regime, and I think that's going to be the hardest one of all - it's so easy to eat and eat and eat round here. Today, I made myself 3 sausage rolls which was far too much, so I'm going to have to work harder at cutting down. Easier said than done, though, I think.

I've also been getting to grips with setting up an Apache Web Server (oooh, I hear you say), and have got PHP and MySQL working with it too, and it took a long time to set up and configure. In English, it means I've set up a web server on my own PC, but since my PC isn't on 24/7, it won't be much use as a website. It's just for development of the Allancia project so that one day (if that day ever comes) when its finished, I'll be able to upload everything in one go and be sure it'll all work the way I intended. Now all I have to do is get to grips with SQL and PHP coding! Any techies out there are free to laugh at me. I haven't got the first clue about programming...well, not much at any rate.

I also managed to get through to Liz at last - poor girl has lost her voice after contracting yet another illness. Still, it was nice to speak to her - even if it was a little brief. I think it's important that everyone sticks together during this period at university - it's a great challenge for us all, and it's easy to forget that other people are struggling as well. I also spoke to my ex-Liz as well, and she seemed chirpy and happy, and actually pleased to talk to me (for the first time in a year, so it seems).

Two new poems also suggested themselves to me today, and I'll write them up soon - "Gloucester St. Girls", which will be about a group of old ladies who always converge on the corner of Gloucester St near the History Department every day...all they do is chat and gossip for hours in the street! I swear, every time I go up that way they're there. The other will be "Pigeon Car", which suggested itself to me after I saw someone's car today covered in bird crap - and I mean *covered*. It was funny.

Hope mum's remembered to park my car under cover back home...

:: Plod 01:01 [+] ::
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Commenting

I've now added a commenting script to my journal, so if you have anything to say about my life, please do! I'd love to know what anyone who reads this is thinking. Just click the "Comments" button beneath each post to say something, or read what someone else has said regarding that post.

:: Plod 17:31 [+] ::
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Breaking Down Barriers

I've been working hard to break out of my current cycle of addiction to Battlefield 1942 and get on with more practical pursuits - most notably, my dissertation. I've done some good work today, and I reckon I'll only need another one or two trips up to the library before I'm ready to begin writing it all up. It's a struggle, but last night's cell group really helped me get some stuff straight in my head. Tomorrow, I'm going to make sure I go back down the gym - I'm determined to try and keep my work habits up. I'll also get to collect my exam results tomorrow - eek!

I'm going to keep working on my Photoshop skills and practice a little Arabic this evening, I think. I was supposed to be going to a party with Adam tonight, but I don't know anyone that's going to be there, and they're off to Kingdom afterwards. I know that if I'll go, I'll end up spending loads of money and drinking too much - and I can't afford to miss my seminars tomorrow morning. I'm desperate to keep on the straight and narrow, but it's hard sometimes. Still, I have a network of friends around me - I just hope that none of us become so self-absorbed in our own work and problems that we neglect our responsibilities to each other.

:: Plod 16:44 [+] ::
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'Ave it!

I just came across this brilliant story...so I had to paste it here. Read it and weep!

Chickens
from BF, 2/18/97

In a recent issue of "Meat & Poultry" magazine, editors quoted from
"Feathers", the publication of the California Poultry Industry
Federation, reporting the following story:

It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration has a unique device for
testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is an air
cannon that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at
approximately the speed the plane flies.

The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from the carcass
impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight. It
seems that British Rail was very interested in this and wanted to test a
windshield on a brand new, ultra high speed locomotive they were
developing.

They borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired.
The ballistic chicken shattered the windshield, went through the
engineer's chair, broke an instrument panel and embedded itself in the
back wall of the engine cab. The British engineers were stunned and
asked the FAA to review the test to see if everything was done
correctly.

The FAA checked the test thoroughly and had one recommendation:
"Try thawing the chicken next time."

:: Plod 18:41 [+] ::
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Life in Sheffield

I've recovered (at last) from my night on the tiles at the Pheasant. I can see two solutions: 1) drink less in future, thereby not getting drunk at all...or 2) drink considerably more, regularly, so that it'll take more to get me drunk. Not quite sure which is the best solution yet :)

:: Plod 10:12 [+] ::
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The Morning After the Night Before

Urrrrgh.... So, we decided to go to the grand reopening of The Pheasant pub round the corner last night, and they had a lock-in...me & Chris were there till 1am drinking, and then we came back here and played too many games of Battlefield 1942...all in all, no sleep until 3am, and now I have a hangover.

I feel crappy, but it's all my own fault...and I have to go out again tonight! Maybe I can sleep off some of this headache.

:: Plod 13:10 [+] ::
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Uninspiring Week

Well, so far this week has been a big disappointment. I have a headache, and not very much has happened - it seems at the moment the only interesting thing happening is the pressure of work, and it's not fun - I can tell you! I've found some stuff to write about - currently, I'm working on a piece entitled "The Proprietor of Carefully Selected Junk", but it's still in its very early days at the moment.

I can expect to hear back from UCL by early April, so I suppose I only have a few weeks to wait, now - I'm really crossing my fingers. If I get an interview, I think I'll be alright - I can talk very well, and I think I'll be able to impress an interviewer. I just hope I get that chance.

I'm going to go and have a lie down for a while. I feel all muzzy and not with it at all.

:: Plod 15:01 [+] ::
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[Edited]

[edited and removed by request]

:: Plod 23:27 [+] ::
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Still busy busy busy...

Lots of stuff is happening right now, as the ineveitable lurch towards the end of uni continues. I've applied for an MA at UCL now, but I'm still waiting for a reply. Fingers crossed!

I've been very busy within the church recently, and am gearing up for Comic Relief...though, I have to say, I was totally unimpressed with the general lack of support from my cell group. I thought they'd have been more up for it - Julia might be interested, though, so I'll try and chat to her again on Tuesday night.

I've also been back on the writing trail, and the Realms of Allancia project has been revitalised. I'm teaching myself how to develop web applications and server-side stuff (scary, I know) so that I can build a really professional website. I've also been brushing up on Photoshop and 3D Studio Max. Bet you never knew I was so multi-talented! So, for now, it's back to the grindstone. I'll try and be more regular with my little blog...I still enjoy it, and hope that if people are reading this, they enjoy it! Write me an email some time. I love hearing from random people.

So long as they're not weird.

:: Plod 23:22 [+] ::
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